


Precious

by TenSpencerRiedPlease



Series: Pride Fics [3]
Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Flash Thompson Being A Jerk, Gen, Liz And MJ Are Good Bros Too, M/M, Ned Leeds is a Good Bro, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Ned Leeds, Then Flash Stops Being A Jerk, Trans Peter Parker, even if he's still an ass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-12 05:50:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19941253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TenSpencerRiedPlease/pseuds/TenSpencerRiedPlease
Summary: “You’re a saint and you should know you’re too good for Flash,” MJ tells him.





	Precious

**Author's Note:**

> Fuck, I didn't know what to name this thing so precious it is. Terrible title, but naming things is the bane of my existence SO! Also this took me AGES to finish omg.
> 
> Anyway, warning for some mentions of transphobia (on account of 'penis Parker' meaning something entirely different for a trans guy) and Flash's Dumb Bitch attitude towards it at first. And a brief period mention, but nothing too detailed or involving Peter that much really. But its good to keep in mind.

Flash has to admit he doesn’t have the best of luck but this time it’s a new level of bad. “Oh, come on. That was an accident,” he reasons with Parker. “I didn’t know you were trans at the time.” Seriously, there’s like a million Peter Parkers on this planet. How the hell was he supposed to know he was the _one_ that was trans? He just thought Penis Parker sounded funny, he didn’t really _mean_ anything by it but when he tells Peter that he doesn’t seem to take it well.

“So you only meant to be a jerk, not a bigot? Is that actually supposed to endear me to you?” he asks, squinting.

“I mean yeah, sure, why not? I’m a perfectly charming guy,” he says. Who wouldn’t want to spend a little more time with him? He’s smart, funny, and not to toot his own horn but he’s definitely one of the more attractive guys in school so really Peter’s the lucky one here.

Peter looks at him like he’s nuts, “ _no_ , Flash. I can’t even believe we’re _having_ this discussion!” he says, throwing his hands up and walking away. Flash sighs and turns to Liz.

“Got any advice?” he asks because she had that fling with Peter once so she might know things.

Liz rolls her eyes at him, “the only reason you even want him is because he keeps telling you no, Flash,” she says and that’s so not fair.

“That’s not true, I have other reasons,” he says and she rolls her eyes at him again.

“I think that ship sailed when you called him ‘Penis Parker’ all of last year,” she points out.

“That was an accident,” Flash says. Seriously, that’s not at all his fault and he feels like he should be forgiven for his lack of transgressions because he had no clue Peter was trans. There, perceived problem solved because he wasn’t even trying to be a bigot.

Liz rubs her temples. “Calling someone immature names for a year isn’t an accident, Flash, and he’s got more than a right to be pissed off at you. Leave the poor guy alone.”

That’s shitty advice so Flash decides to consult someone new.

*

Flash spots Michelle sitting alone at her lunch table like normal and slides into a seat across from her. She immediately gives him suspicious looks so he figures he’ll skip the part where he pretends to compliment something about her and get to the point. “How do you ask a trans person out when you’ve been accidentally transphobic to them for a year?” he asks. He totally resents the look on her face because its not like he meant to do that it just happened.

“You _don’t_ ,” she tells him and he sighs.

“Come on, Peter’s your friend, I’m sure you don’t want him to be single forever and I’m a catch,” he says. “Help a guy out.”

Michelle rolls her eyes at him and come on, there’s no need for her to act like Liz about it. He’s already said he didn’t _mean_ to be a dick about it. “Has it occurred to you to apologize?”

Oh come on, that’s _easy_. “I already apologized and he didn’t accept. What am I supposed to do with that?” he asks. “Give me a little guidance here, I’m trying my best.”

“Why do I get the impression that your best sucks?” Michelle mumbles. “Tell me what you said, just out of a morbid curiosity.”

Great, a little progress! “I said that I didn’t know he was trans so that whole Penis Parker thing was an accident. Problem solved, right, its not like I _wanted_ to be a transphobe I was just being me.”

“Your apology was that you’re a douche bag but not a bigot? _Really_?” she asks and he sighs.

“That’s how Peter reacted too! Come on guys, it wasn’t _that_ bad!”

“You tormented the guy for a year, Flash, and now you think you can just ask him out?” Michelle asks.

“I mean I did, so yeah, kinda.”

He thinks maybe he should have anticipated her throwing a pudding cup at him but he didn’t and now he has to go clean chocolate out of his hair.

*

If someone told Peter a year ago that Flash Thompson would be trying to _ask him out_ he probably would have laughed or cried, he doesn’t know which. And he’s _persistent_ too and Peter doesn’t even get why because he doesn’t really think he’s Flash’s type. Actually he’s never really dated anyone so he doesn’t know if Flash _has_ a type but if he does he doesn’t think it’d be him. Ned looks as confused about it as Peter, maybe even more so. “What is his _deal_?” Ned asks, pulling flowers out of their shared locker.

“You should pretend they were for you,” Peter tells him, snickering.

Ned pulls the tag off the flowers and hands it over, “pretty obvious that they’re for you,” he says. Peter takes the tag and rolls his eyes at the note Flash left.

_Don’t even think about it Ned._

“Does he really think I’d find any of this appealing? I don’t even like roses,” Peter mumbles, sticking them back in his locker. Across the hall a couple girls are giving him a jealous look so he turns to look in the other direction only to find a couple guys giving him the same look. He sighs and shuts the locker door.

“Think he’ll give up any time soon or do you think you can weasel more presents out of him?” Ned asks. Peter smacks Ned’s shoulder lightly.

“Don’t be rude, Ned, I’m not using Flash for his money.” Also he has his own. Maybe aunt May isn’t terribly well off but his father is and yeah okay maybe Peter didn’t really know about Tony being his father until recently and yeah that’s a whole big thing he didn’t expect but the point is that he’s got money so he doesn’t need Flash.

“Might as well use him for something if he’s going to stick around. Also how’d he get into our locker?” Ned asks.

Peter sighs, “I don’t know, he probably talked someone into giving him our lock code.” Flash is charming when he wants to be except now he’s only being charming because Peter’s playing hard to get, that’s what Liz says and she’s good insider information.

“That’s dumb, you can do better than Flash. Like Michelle, Michelle is nice and she’s not a jerk,” Ned says like there’s a real possibility of Peter ever dating Flash.

“I think Michelle is dating social justice,” Peter tells him. “And they’re very happy together.”

“Just promise me you won’t date Flash,” Ned says. “Because he kind of sucks and I need someone to build Legos with.”

Peter laughs, “one, I would never date Flash. Two, even if I _did_ date Flash I would never give up Legos,” Peter says.

*

Flash gives Liz a _look_ and she sighs, “its true, Flash, that’s not my fault,” she tells him.

“Is so! I totally had a chance until you told him I was trying to date him because he said no. Also that’s creepy, that’s so not my reason.” Its just that he’s decided that Peter is the only one who can keep up with him and he’s cute- those are totally valid reasons. He’s sure they have common interests too, they’re both on the mathletes team and that’s a start probably.

Liz shakes her head at him though and that’s honestly rude, he doesn’t even know why she thinks he only likes Peter because he said no. Total slander. “It is so, you just like that he’s playing hard to get,” she tells him.

Except he’s _not_ playing hard to get he’s not really playing at all so Liz’s theory is totally wrong. “When did I even give you that idea?” he asks because he totally doesn’t think he’s ever done anything to indicate that he only likes Peter because he’s not interested. Which, again, is _totally_ creepy.

“Flash you don’t try and date anyone who likes you, that’s why you haven’t dated anyone,” she points out.

“Oh that is _so_ not true, I’ve dated people!” he lies because shit, she’s got a point.

“You have not and Peter is a lost cause, find someone new to decide you like on a weird whim,” she tells him. “Also like half the school wants to date you so it’s not like you have no chance with anyone else,” she points out.

Flash wrinkles his nose, “yeah but half the school sucks and I like Peter, I feel like this is salvageable.”

Liz looks kind of like she’s in pain but she doesn’t do anything to dispute it so he feels vindicated.

*

Peter kind of doesn’t want to admit it but the Star Wars themed chocolates he finds in his locker are actually kind of cool and he loves chocolate. He doesn’t want to give Flash the wrong impression but at least his trinkets are starting to show that he’s paying attention to stuff that he likes. Either that or Liz told him what to get but Liz out and out told him they’re probably not a good match and MJ called Flash a bisexual mess in a can and he doesn’t know what that means but he does know it wasn’t a compliment. Plus he knows where Ned stands.

He also knows where Ned stands on the chocolates because he steals them immediately and Peter sighs. “We’re splitting those, you can’t eat them all like last time,” Peter tells him. “Go find someone to buy you chocolates.”

Ned rolls his eyes at him, “you didn’t even find someone to buy you chocolates, Flash just decided to be obsessed with you,” he points out.

Peter doesn’t care _how_ this happened, just that he gets half those hard earned chocolates. He’s the one who has to deal with Flash in math class because Ned has biology at that time so Peter thinks that he’s entitled to half. “Half those are mine, Ned, or I steal your Death Star,” Peter tells him. “And don’t think I can’t, I know where you live.” And he knows how to sneak in and out of Ned’s parents house thanks to him and Ned sneaking out to go see late night movies frequently.

Ned gasps, “you wouldn’t!” he says like Peter is attached to his Death Star the same way he is. He is not and he will absolutely steal the star as revenge.

“I would and I can, half of those are mine,” Peter tells him before he takes off for math class not that he wants to go. Math is mostly boring to him because he’s good at it, hence being a mathlete, but the class is boring. And Flash is in the class so he’s sure to have to deal with whatever antics he’s up to now and there’s sure to be something.

Peter can’t say he’s entirely surprised when he walks in to find Flash sitting beside the spot he usually sits in and Michelle is giving him dirty looks for it because that’s her spot. Peter considers it for a moment before he walks past his spot and sits next to MJ just to be an ass and he’s got to admit Flash’s squawk of indignation is hilarious. MJ snorts, “oh my god,” she says under her breath, “sometimes I forget that you can be savage.”

“I wasn’t trying to be savage, I just usually sit beside you and thought it would be funny to leave Flash hanging,” he says.

“Wholesome,” MJ accuses. “You’re too good for Flash.”

“Who’s side are you even _on_?” Flash asks her and MJ squints.

“Not yours, dumbass. I thought I was pretty clear on that.”

Flash considers this for a moment before picking up his stuff and walking over to her desk, standing in front of it expectantly. Peter fully expects MJ to put up a fight but instead she looks between him and Peter, considering the situation for a moment before she gets up and lets Flash take her spot with a grin. “I’m on your side, but that doesn’t mean this isn’t good entertainment to watch,” she says in way of an explanation as she gets up.

Peter needs new friends because only Ned is loyal and he’s offended about it. Flash, however, looks enthused. “Got a Snapchat, Parker?” he asks as he slides into MJ’s seat.

He considers not answering but he also knows Flash is annoyingly persistent. “You know this isn’t going to get me to date you, right?” he asks and MJ snorts from a few desks away.

“ _Savage_ , Peter!” He sighs because he’s just trying to be honest, not savage or whatever. He’s just not looking to lead Flash on.

Flash looks fully confident in himself anyway and honestly Peter wishes he had a self esteem that high. He has a lot of opinions on Flash sure, but his self esteem is one of his winning qualities. Its also one of his biggest losing qualities but still. “Yeah, I’m hilarious so I’m sure I can win you over,” he says. “Snapchat?”

Peter sighs, “its BushDid9/11,” Peter tells him, slightly embarrassed but Flash laughs.

“Mines TurnedTheFuckinFrogsGay,” Flash says and Peter can’t help it, that’s kind of funny so he laughs. Flash clearly takes it as a personal victory because he grins, “told you I was funny. Its only a matter of time before you fall for my charms,” Flash says, grinning wide.

He looks over to Michelle but she’s watching on in obvious amusement so she’s absolutely _no_ help.

*

Its not like anyone _likes_ homework but Peter feels like people like it less when they’ve gone to bed and _then_ realized that they have responsibilities. So he’s trying to edit the final draft of his English essay on American classics he could care less about when his phone buzzes with a notification. Usually he’d ignore it but the instinct to procrastinate is strong so he picks up his phone, noting that he’s got a Snapchat from Flash. That’s not entirely surprising but since he’s not looking to do English homework for a few moments he clicks on the snap, allowing it to play.

Flash’s face pops up on screen as he walks down a suburban street, camera angled up at his face. Not the most flattering angle and Peter will give him an inch of credit where its due, he _is_ pretty cute, so that’s kind of hard to do. “Hey Parker. So like, here’s the deal. You’re sworn to secrecy on this but since I’m trying to gain your trust and whatever I’m going to tell you a secret. Kind of.” The snaps play back to back and Peter figures he’ll let them play out. “So one of my asshole friends who will not be named decided to dupe me into watching The Human Centipede- I know, I make bad life choices. But that’s not the point. Point _is_ that now whenever I’m walking down the street alone at night I’m all like ‘what if the human centipede tries to eat me.’ Which is ridiculous, and I’m trusting you with this information in confidence so don’t tell everyone at school. I’d definitely laugh at me so everyone else would too.”

The snaps end there and Peter frowns, taking a picture of his confused face and captioning it ‘isn’t the centipede canonically slow?’ He totally hates that he knows that but he was duped into watching it with Ned and they both collectively wrote off the horror genre wholesale because that is _not_ what they’re about. But the movie title went around as a meme for awhile and they figured why not, right? Couldn’t be _that_ bad and boy were they wrong.

Flash answers pretty much immediately with a confused look of his own captioned ‘bitch you think that matters?’ Peter rolls his eyes and turns back to his essay but its mind numbing at this point and yeah, all he has to do is edit it but he could always just send it in as is and not have to do any extra work. Its tempting. Another snap from Flash pops up and Peter sighs, opening it. The picture is of a black lump in the distance, probably a trash bag or something, captioned ‘human centipede is that you?’

He snorts and screenshots it, sending it to Ned immediately with no context because he thinks that makes it funnier. Another snap from Flash appears with his face taking up most of the screen. The caption reads ‘that better not have went to Leeds.’

Peter winces, remembering too late he’s sworn to secrecy. He sends back a picture of him wincing captioned ‘opps.’

When another string of snaps comes in Peter sighs, letting them all play out. “That’s cold, Parker. Sworn to secrecy and you didn’t even last ten _seconds_! Liz is right, if we all had secret identities you would last the least long on account of you suck at this. I, on the other hand, would be fine. Tell Ned nothing,” he adds as he walks into a driveway, presumably the one to his house.

Predictably Ned calls just as the snaps stop playing and Peter answers the phone. “Why are you in a boujee neighborhood?” he asks.

“I’m not, Flash is and he’s scared of the Human Centipede. Isn’t that hilarious?” Peter asks, laughing. He decides Ned doesn’t count as people do this is totally fine- Ned’s Ned, he won’t tell anyone anyway Peter’s his only friend. And even if he did Peter’s pretty sure no one would believe him anyway.

Ned snorts and starts laughing, “he actually watched that?” he asks.

Peter frowns, “so did we, why are you making fun of him?”

“He probably watched all three,” Ned says and huh, there’s a thought.

He pulls his phone from his ear, putting Ned on speaker before he starts typing a reply to Flash because he’s curious and if Ned’s going to make fun of him it needs to be accurate. “Okay, I asked him just to see,” Peter tells Ned.

“Ew, why are you talking to him still?” he asks.

“Its rude to leave people on read, Ned,” Peter says. Ned _never_ leaves him on read so he knows this.

Flash answers fast with a close up of his face looking disgusted captioned ‘I hate myself so yeah’ quickly followed by another snap of him grinning into the camera captioned ‘lol just kidding I don’t hate myself.’ “I wish I had his confidence,” Peter mumbles more to himself than Ned. He could do with a rock solid sense of self worth, might have done him some good when Flash led whole chants of ‘penis parker’ at him down the school’s hallways before he spontaneously decided that he has a crush on him.

“No you don’t because Flash sucks and he’s an arrogant jerk,” Ned says. “And you’re the best because you’re sweet and not a gaping asshole.”

Peter snickers and starts laughing. “Don’t be mean Ned, Flash is a people too.”

*

“I’m making progress,” Flash tells Liz and he thinks it’s rude that she doesn’t look convinced.

“What makes you think that?” she asks, raising an eyebrow.

“He laughs at my jokes and answers my Snapchats,” he tells her. Its progress, it totally is. Even Ned seems to hate him less or maybe he always looks vaguely suspicious he has no idea and he doesn’t really care either.

Liz rolls her eyes at him and he’s getting tired of that, he so hasn’t earned any of these eye rolls. “Flash, jokes are funny and he answers everyone’s Snapchats, that’s not anything unusual for him,” she points out.

“Well I think we share a special bond.” Or they will, he’ll make sure of it and Peter is making this pretty easy because he’s actually pretty easy to talk to. Flash had been a little worried that maybe Liz was right about not _really_ liking Peter but he’s sufficiently proven that that’s not true.

Not that Liz would believe that if he told her and she clearly doesn’t believe him about Peter now. “You don’t share a special bond, you have a weird crush and Peter is too polite to tell you off.”

“What are you talking about, he already told me off,” he points out. “You know, when I asked him out.”

“That was his diplomatic way of telling you you’re a jerk, not telling you off. I don’t think Peter is capable of doing that because he’s too nice.”

Yeah, that last part is definitely true; Flash has witnessed Peter being too nice to like… everyone. He’s friends with _Ned Leeds_. Like on _purpose_. “Sure he’s too nice but I’ve got this,” Flash says confidently. He’s always got whatever it is he decides he wants, its kind of his thing. He’s always had the perfect combination of luck and hard work to make whatever it is he wants work out in the end.

“You are annoyingly persistent, Flash. Which is probably your best and worst quality so do Peter a favor and don’t be a dick about it, alright? You have a talent for that too,” Liz tells him, stepping around him and walking away.

You know what, yeah, okay, sometimes he’s a bit of a prick but he thinks he’s fine mostly and he’s going to prove it.

*

Peter is trying to balance all his text books in his arms when Flash finds him looking as overconfident as ever and Peter wants to know where he _gets_ that. He wishes he had an unlimited supply of confidence like that. “Question Parker, and be honest,” Flash says and the way he says it is like he already knows the answer. “Do you think I’m a prick?”

Oh, why would he ask _that_ of all things? Obviously Peter thinks he’s a prick, he used to lead whole hallways full of people in ‘penis Parker’ chants and Peter sighs because he has no idea how to tell Flash that without being rude about it. “I… well, I mean you _did_ kind of torment me for a year by shouting penis Parker at me every chance you got so yeah, I kind of think you’re a prick. But you’re funny when you’re not being one though,” Peter adds to soften the blow.

Not that Flash looks like one has been delivered and _seriously_ Peter could take a hit off that self esteem and Flash would still have an ego the size of Texas. “Come on, I already told you I didn’t really you know… _know_ ,” he says, giving a little shrug like his actions would have been fine without the trans thing.

He sighs, “yeah, maybe you didn’t but I doubt the entire rest of the school was as in the dark as you about that. And even if they were that’s still a shitty thing to do to someone for your own entertainment, Flash.” Peter shrugs a little and leaves Flash there, looking a little dumbfounded as he does.

Ned basically jumps out from behind a trash can looking enthused, “that was _awesome_!” he says and Peter frowns.

“I didn’t really do anything, Ned, I just told the truth.”

“Yeah, but it totally took him down a peg,” Ned says, nodding behind them. Peter turns and finds Flash staring after him looking a little confused and Peter doesn’t get it. Nothing about Flash makes any kind of sense to him though.

“Actually I think I might have broke him when I didn’t immediately do what he wanted. You know how he is,” Peter says. Nothing ever seems to go badly for Flash and Peter doesn’t get that either but he’s sort of stopped questioning it at this point.

*

Peter is attempting to leave the school in vain when Flash manages to find him again, easily slipping through the crowd because of course he does. Peter always has to play human Tetris to get through the crowd but of course for Flash its no effort. He does look less confident than usual when he shoves Peter into the women’s bathroom and he gives Flash a _look_ but he winces and ducks in too so Peter figures this isn’t some kind of payback thing so much as a genuine mistake. He wrinkles his nose, “I don’t miss the smell in here,” he says.

Flash squints, “as opposed to the smell in the guy’s bathroom? Because I think you really downgraded there. This smells like weird floral perfume but the guy’s bathroom smells like piss and low self esteem. But that’s not the point I- wanted to apologize,” he says almost sheepishly. Its such a weird look on Flash that Peter is genuinely confused about it.

Peter frowns because, “what bathroom are you using? There’s like five in this school and if you’re using the one in the back corner of the first floor then you _really_ need to use literally any other option. Do you hate yourself?” Only the truly desperate use that bathroom and Flash doesn’t strike Peter as the truly desperate.

“No one ever uses that bathroom, I get the whole thing to myself. I like to take my morning shit in peace, Parker, don’t judge. And I’m trying to apologize here. In like the _worst_ spot but you know, it’s a thing that’s happening,” Flash says, sounding more unsure than Peter has ever heard him _ever_.

“You already did that, technically,” Peter points out. And it really is more of a ‘technically’ type thing because Flash doesn’t really apologize for much if anything. But he does look genuinely sorry at the moment.

Flash sighs, looking away for a moment. “I didn’t really consider- look the ‘penis Parker’ thing was a thoughtless asshole thing to do and I’m sorry,” he says meaningfully this time.

For a moment he considers Flash, unsure if this is really happening or not. “Uh. Okay? I- where is this coming from?” he asks, confused.

Flash doesn’t seem to take the question well given how constipated he looks about it. “The other day you said that I might have been clueless but everyone else probably wasn’t. Maybe I was only looking to be a dick, but I did flat out encourage bigotry for a whole year and then didn’t even give you a good apology about it. I get it, people being asshole bigots, and it fucking sucks,” he says, looking at the ground.

“Huh. Didn’t really think anyone around here would _be_ a dick to you. Pretty sure they’re all a little scared of you,” he says. And not really because Flash has proven to be much of a worthy opponent in a fight so much as he’s really good at making sure his target is socially ostracized for as long as he wants them to be.

His comment earns him a little shrug from Flash. “Yeah, people here aren’t usually assholes so much as everyone _outside_ of school and mostly to my parents. They have thick Indian accents, I’m sure you know how much white people love that.” He pauses for a moment, “or maybe you don’t, I don’t actually know how white people look at that kind of thing when they aren’t racist rubes.”

Peter snorts and starts laughing because he’s never hear ‘rube’ used in a sentence. “Sorry, that’s not funny. Just the rube thing was. And for the record white people who are aware that racism is shitty mostly fend off other white people trying to bond with them over being racist. Indian accents are usually connected to call centers but I always get Midwesterners though.”

Flash wrinkles his nose, “who hell makes phone calls at our age? I thought we learned from the Millennials to hate phone calls.”

“I had to do it twice and I cried both times,” Peter admits, half expecting Flash to make fun of him for it and he guesses doubling over laughing is _kind_ of making fun of him but it feels more like he’s laughing at the situation than Peter’s actual crying over phone calls.

“You’ve got issues, Parker. And for the record next time white people bitch about Indian accents ask what the fuck kind of English they speak in Britain. I went there once and couldn’t understand a _word_ of what they were saying. I’m fully convinced that’s not English and they may have put a curse on me with whatever dialect they were speaking in,” Flash says, waving a hand around.

Peter grins, “someone hasn’t watched enough British TV.”

“Look, there’s a British accent and then there’s whatever the hell language they spoke while I was there. Not the same thing, I _swear_ ,” he says, hands up a little.

“This is touching and all, but can you two get out of the _women’s_ bathroom? And honestly Flash, the Cockney accent isn’t that confusing you’re just dumb,” MJ says inside one of the stalls.

They both look in the direction of her voice for a moment before looking at each other. “Well that’s awkward as hell,” Flash says.

“Yeah, it is, for me specifically now get out,” MJ says. “Wait, hold on a second do you happen to have a tampon, Peter?”

He pulls his bag off his shoulders and rummages around for a moment before he locates a few tampons left over from the days he feared leakage. He’s happy to be past that now. “Here,” he says, throwing the tampon over MJ’s stall door.

“You’re a saint and you should know you’re too good for Flash,” she tells him.

Flash wrinkles his nose at the remaining tampons in Peter’s bag, “ew,” he mumbles.

Peter rolls his eyes, “it’s a tampon, Flash, get over it. They’re literally cotton sticks.”

“They’re creepy,” Flash says and Peter pulls a tampon out, unwrapping it and throwing it at Flash, who shrieks and flails.

“Oh my _god_ did I just miss you throwing a tampon at Flash?” MJ asks.

“Yup,” Peter tells her.

“You are _obligated_ to throw another one so I can witness it,” MJ says excitedly. “I love when boys freak out over stupid things!”

“It’s a _tampon_!” Flash says like that matters.

“Dude, its like someone throwing clean toilet paper at you, why are you so grossed out? Guys need to grow up,” Peter says, shaking his head.

“And this is why I like you,” MJ tells him.

*

“No!” Ned tells him, seemingly offended that Peter has even considered this.

He sighs, “Ned, he apologized and he actually meant it this time _and_ he’s told like four people to stop calling me penis Parker, he’s making an effort.

Ned looks at him like he’s nuts. “Flash is probably the actual devil Peter, _no_!”

“Its _one_ date Ned, not a marriage proposal. Plus he is kind of cute.” Not that he ever would have admitted it when Flash was still being an asshole but he’s stopped a lot of that now so Peter thinks its okay to think he’s cute now.

“Peter, he doesn’t even like Star Wars! What kind of psychopath doesn’t like _Star Wars_!” Ned asks meaningfully.

“For the record I watched Star Wars and honestly I’m a little mad I’ve missed out on it for my whole life because it was actually pretty good,” Flash says, appearing from around the corner with his Spanish text book. “Hey Parker, you willing to bet I can get kicked out of Spanish in less than ten seconds?” he asks, grinning.

Peter doesn’t understand Flash’s fascination with pissing people off but so long as he’s not being a genuine jerk about it he’ll accept Flash’s weird quirk. “I don’t think even you can manage that,” Peter tells him.

“Bet you a kiss I can do it in five,” Flash tells him, grinning.

Ned wrinkles his whole face in disgust but Peter ignores that. “I’ll take that bet, its impossible to get kicked out of class in five seconds. You don’t even have time to sit,” Peter points out.

Flash slings an arms around his shoulder, “ye of little faith,” Flash says. “Watch and learn from an expert.”

Peter allows himself to be dragged off to Spanish, waving at Ned before he makes his way to the art class he hates more than the language elective he opted out of. When they get there Flash releases him from his grasp and grins at the teacher, “hola,” he says, pronouncing the ‘h’ in the word.

“Get out of my classroom,” the teacher says and Peter blinks, confused because he was _sure_ Flash was going to lose that bet.

“Told ya,” Flash tells him, laughing as he turns around.

“You can go too,” the teacher tells Peter and he starts blinking rapidly all over again because _what_?

Once they’re relocated in the hallway Flash starts laughing, “I’ve never seen that white guy blinking meme come to life but you did a good approximation of it,” he says.

“I think I was more like the white woman with the math over her face meme but okay,” Peter says. “Can you tell me _how_ you managed that?”

“What? You didn’t know his biggest pet peeve is people pronouncing the ‘h’ in ‘hola’? Well, now you do,” Flash tells him. Peter shakes his head because that’s _wild_ but Flash _does_ have a talent for managing to find the fastest way to piss a person off. “And don’t forget you owe me a kiss, Parker,” Flash adds, grinning.

Peter rolls his eyes because only Flash could say that with enough confidence that it cancels out the skeeve.

**Author's Note:**

> [My writing Tumblr](https://tenspencerriedplease.tumblr.com/)


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